Wheels are Happy

I've seen some awful things in the video game world. I've seen Niko jump from a helicopter and land directly on his head with a sickening crunch. I've watched Cole get digested by an enormous maggot monster. I've even seen a bouncing betty blow every limb off of a limping zombie. But, the worst things I've ever seen are from a game called Happy Wheels. This game is based on the idea that you get to choose from a selection of characters to reach a destination unknown to you until the level begins. Other people with a blood lust create a multitude of levels for you to play, rate, and do really cool tricks on. However, due to the fact that most people who create levels are noobs you are immediately hit by a wrecking ball at the beginning of most every level. The other half of the levels are generic games that take five seconds to make and suck! But there are a select few that are OK or even great.

Anyhow, I was talking about it being the worst. Not in a extremely gory way, but in a way that's surprising. The first time I played I was surprised when my old hobo on a rocket propelled wheelchair was thrown into the air by a land mine and proceeded to smash into the ceiling, land on another landmine and have every one of his limbs blown off. Not only that, but the torso of your character explodes into multiple organs which bounce around all over. You have few controls over the characters limited to: driving, ejecting, and flopping about on the ground. This simplicity keeps the game fun and easy to play. One of the most brutal parts is probably that your character sometimes cries in pain. However, if he is hit in the head with a harpoon midway through his cry he will abruptly stop screaming and go limp. It may be kind of a sick game but it is very fun. I especially like when I'm lucky enough to have my avatar's intestine stretched out while I still maintain control over the two separate halves of my disconnected friend. There are hundreds of different ways to tear your player to shreds and they're all pretty cool. My personal favorite is actually the very precise kills like when a spike grabs only my head and tears it off while my bicycle keeps on rolling or when a harpoon plucks me off of my lawnmower from behind. This games success is in the details.

However strange and disgusting and incredulous that sounded, I don't want you pretending like you haven't played a game like that before. I'm a 15 year old boy. I want to see somebody ripped to pieces and feel like the all powerful Deity a race bows down to! Since I can't find that in real life I go to little games I can play.It's fun and it makes me laugh. Much better than those other crappy games. It adds variety and it's awesome. Try it here!!